Anonymous: I'd fuck youStanding on the edge of the roof at work, gazin down all nine stories
Wondering if I’d be missed if I took that last step.
I have missed so many boats now, that the fleet is lost at sea
I just stand on this wet Dock, waving my arms helplessly
I submit to an empty future convincing myself I can live, without touch
The truth is that premise is false, just lies of a mind deranged by self doubt
I’m such and obvious liar, to anyone but myself
To me I’m more than convincing
Obselete to anything else
My head pounds louder each night
With more and more conviction
I’d always promised myself, I’d be there when I was needed
But these Days im growing distant
I don’t wanna be
But hates consuming me, consume me
I lost my vision the last time I tore out my eyes
Became deaf when I heard you were so happy to fade
With hands over ears it’s so easy not to hear the words to save me
It just amplifies what’s inside
I’m sorry
IM SORRY
I’m wasted
I’m sorry
SORRY
So desperate
I’m sorry
I feel sick
So fucking disconnected
Nothing to say, nothing
My static mind reverberates
It just amplifies what’s inside
Vacate me, vacate me from this mindset
I know I can’t mean it
Addicted to abandonment
Addicted to self harm
Not feelings become so familiar
I withdraw within my self
I writhe, I convulse,
scaring away hope
I try to scream my mind quiet
Quiet, QUIET!
Drown myself in company, but only drown alone
More nights to regret, to hate, to hesitate/hesitate life away.
It’s a struggle to get out of bed everyday.
